Yes I'm writting again

I start writing this blog when I was 23, and yes just like you do, I also grow up :) It's been three years and three hundred years wiser at the moment. Sounds little bit hyperbolic doesn't it? but well, somewhere someday back in our past, there must be a little something makes us wiser.

My first writing "Get A Toy" in 2008 (if you guys already read it) talks about "mr.right now" which is in fact hundred men called "mr.right now" been coming those past years. The year of complain if I might say. Then we fly to my writing in 2009 titled "Saturday Night With Jakarta" talks about surviving without a date on Saturday. My 2010's writings for some reason, i did not post them here. But after taking look at them, I probably wanna share you some of them. You might want to catch up what's up with me :p For those who don't, then probably you might be inspired with some of them. Not all of them are inspiring if I must say.

Just take a look at them and let me know what you think :)

Repost : Funny Side (of you and me)

*well, this one is pretty "galau" :p i wrote it on Friday, May 14 2010. *

it is so funny how God made two people met
it is so funny how He put you in my story book,
but you never become a guy who takes the princess to a romantic date.

it is so funny how we cried in the middle of the night talking to each other on the phone,
but the communication was never clear and i hardly understood :p

it is so funny how I used to get hurt without you knowing it
it is so funny seeing you in every chapter but somebody else is always be the frog that I kissed
it is so funny how i loved you and hated you and loved you and hated you and love you all over again
it is so funny how i finally keep telling myself: it is better than nothing :)

it is so funny how you stay while people come and go.
it is so funny seeing that we never be together but we always are
it is so funny that it's always been you after all
and yet so sweet that i still believe in you.
take care of you

Repost : Brand and ingredients

*This one is written Tuesday, March 16 2010*

Brand and ingredients are two things people concern while buying things. And it seems become two things women concern while finding the ONE.

Brand is a label to name a product, according to oxford dictionary brand is a type of product made by a particular company. Brand in women’s world is a type of a man made by particular tribes, particular culture, particular religion, and particular family. They usually have a particular last name, come from a particular group that your parents join in, and will be a particular perfect image that your mom would love to have as a son in law.

Meanwhile an ingredient is one of the parts that makes something. It is like pancake, the ingredients decide what kind of pancake you make, whether it is too salty, too sweet, or too crispy. Everybody wishes to have a perfect pancake by having flour, sugar, and eggs in right composition. In women’s world, a good ingredient of a man will make a good boyfriend.

Some people took years to realize that what’s under the brand is not as good as it is expected. Some women took six years or more to find out that she’s allergic to her boyfriend’s ingredients. And the interesting one is in the other side. When you find a man so attractive, when you value every second you spend with him, you feel complete every time you are together, and when you find a friend to be with in him. Unfortunately he just doesn’t have the brand.

Ms. I can not tell you has a problem in ingredients while Ms. You know who has a problem with the brand.


I fall in and out of love for this brand and ingredient issues, and so do my friends. Have you?

Repost : Little old secret

*this one is written on Monday, July 20 2009*

Little old secrets. Sadar gak sadar, gue punya sembilan diary yang ditulis rutin (hampir) setiap hari, sejak kelas enam sd. Dan membaca ulang semuanya, adalah kegiatan yang bisa membuat sakit perut karena gak habis-habisnya ketawa.

Kenapa ketawa? karena lucu (ya iyalah!). Hal yang dulu jadi keinginan terbesar gue waktu sd, adalah hal terakhir yang ingin gue lakukan saat ini. Cowo yang di lembar diary smp gue puja-puja, adalah temen ngobrol gue sekarang, dan dia udah nikah. Sahabat smp yang dulu selalu bersama-sama gue, adalah manusia yang paling gak mau ketemu gue sekarang. (kenapa? gue juga ga tau, dia ga pernah kasihtau alasannya).Surat2 buat pacar selama SMA (yang somehow menumpuk di diary, dan ga pernah dikasih sampai hubungan berakhir), cerita-cerita awal kuliah, kutukan-kutukan terhadap kawan, lawan, sampai gebetan, yang ternyata sekarang..semuanya adalah sobat-sobat dikala duka. Gue ga cuma nulis kejaidan sehari-hari di diary, tapi sejak sd, gue suka banget nulis quotation dari buku, film, atau lagu, sampe buat puisi yang bisa jadi loe semua muntah bacanya.

Intinya bukan itu, gue cuma mau memperlihatkan beberapa hal yang mungkin bisa buat loe semua ketawa, nangis, sampai mengutuk-ngutuk gue. hehehe. enjoy..
*beberapa nama disamarkan untuk kebaikan bersama

"Ini Diarynya Rona. Siapa yang buka akan dihukum mati." 30 Desember 1996.

"Tadi gue nonton Now and Then. Ih gila, filmnya keren banget. Ada adegan Christina Ricci dicium sama Devon Sawa. Gue jadi iri" 3-7-1997. (Mau muntah? silakann)

"I hope in this saturday, I will can go to Sally's house for cheers practise. This afternoon, I felt Rangga is so cute, he makes me laugh." 7th of May '98. (terganggu dengan kesalahan grammar? harap maklum..namanya juga baru belajar tulis diary pake bahasa inggris:p)

"...Don't ever be afraid to try to make things better
You might be surprised at the results
Don't ever take the weight of the world on your shoulder
Don't ever feel threatened by the future
Take life one day at the time
Don't ever feel guilty about the past
what has done is done. Learn from any mistake you might have made
........." Dec / 03 / 01 (Pak. Sonny's poem in English Lesson)

"Let me be the one you call, If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone"
Sept / 19/ 2002 (crash and burn song. from a best friend on my hardest days, when i had to retake all those classes in the 2nd grade :p)

" Dear .... *nama ex boyfriend,
.................................................................................................

And I learned how to deal with things and act like umm..adults maybe. I've learned sooo..much.
Just look at the results, I've never imagine we're end up like that, but I also never imagined that I have learned so much from our relationship. You get my point here? Loving you is not a Big mistake! no, not even a mistake. " 10 Janvier 2005. (Janvier is January in French)

"................ Apakah benar dia pangeran tampan si penunggang kuda putih, bermahkota berlian dan berpedang panjang? yang tidak akan pernah melihat si Cinderella yang berpakaian compang-camping? ataukah dia si pangeran yang hanya ingin berdansa selama-lamanya dengan sang putri Cinderella yang akan selalu menjadi jelek tiap pukul 12 malam. Atau diakah si pangeran yang menginginkan Cinderella sang pemilik sepatu kaca?! tanpa mempedulikan apakah pada saat tengah malam cinderella berubah menjadi gadis desa atau tidak. I just wanna be loved,,dan apakah....." June / 29/ 2005

"I text N*** today.....
hmm, kinda miss our times together. katanya x'ta :ron, lo lupa ya, kalo cinta butuh perjuangan? udah lama ga pacaran sih! so, berjuang this time! and I was like : oh..iya ya..sangkin lamanya ta. kayaknya butuh re-excercise. " January, 15 2008.

Intinya, been there done that. Gue pilihkan beberapa kutipan yang menurut gue extravaganza noraknya, dan ada juga yang luar biasa hebatnya. Kenapa hebat? karena beberapa tulisan di diary gue sendiri bisa buat gue termotovasi kembali. Rasanya amazing menyadari betapa gue bisa berpikir positive di masa-masa lalu itu, compare with me nowadays, yang setiap hari mengeluhkan hal-hal yang sepele. Jalanan macet lah, badan kegendutan lah, gak punya pacar lah. Pokoknya rasanya gue yang paling menderita di dunia ini, tanpa menyadari bahwa HE, up there, has given every day as a bless for me. And as I reread my old diaries, I found my life is fashionably so colorful, and I can not lie for not saying that God takes good care of me every day. Yes, every day.

diaries

Repost : Life is a bouquet of flower

This one written on Monday. June 15 2009

Life is like a bouquet of flowers,
You pick the colors and combine it with leaves.
Somehow, you have to pick your favorite color, your favorite flower, so you’ll be glad when you look at it.
But some people chose another color to make their loved one happy.
Some people finally chose common color to match it with others', after had thousands unique colors they discovered.
Some people take every flower in the garden, while some keep searching the kind of flower with the right color for their bouquet.
Some people confuse picking the colors, without realized they’ve skipped the best one in the valley behind the dark mountain.
Some people try to take it all back while the color start to fade and the flower drops its petal.
Whatever the reason, people just want a bouquet of beautiful flower they could be proud of,
While somehow some people even give up to arrange it.

ANGEL

God not only put humans in this world, he also put angels among humans for them to learn. He put His angels here to help us, to make us feel His hands, to tell us not to give up. Further more, God sent His angels here to love us. But sometimes we humans are failed to see, to feel, until God called his angels back, and we are alone now.

The Angel that God has put, doesn’t have wings but can fly, doesn’t glow but has shiny eyes, doesn’t even have angelic face.

He didn’t come with a white dress, but with the orange suit. He didn’t come with a soft image, but with the bold one. He didn’t come with a pair of wings to fly, but with CPL. He didn’t come with flawless body, but with the strong one you’ve ever seen. He didn’t come with a white hello, but with the most ingenious brain you’ll have ever known.

He didn’t fall from the sky, but be born from a lucky woman’s womb. He didn’t talk much, but his smile defines God’s creation. His words are not knives, but cottons that can cover your wounds. His sentences are not his gun to hurt others, but a poem that motivates you. His jokes might not be so funny, but makes you forget your sadness.

He talked to everybody as if everyone was his brother. He greeted old people as if they’re all his parents. He teased little children as if they were friends. He smiled to all humans as if we humans were kind.

We judge each other in this world, but he didn’t. He replied all bad words with smile, He paid back all good deeds with the better ones. He responded mistakes with prayers.

Once you noticed him you talked to him, forever you’ll keep him in your mind. Once you know him, forever you’ll realize such a generous heart he has. Once you smiled to him, then you’re gonna see a beautiful smile you’ll never forget. Once you stare at him, you are gonna wonder how God’s made those shiny eyes. Once you mess up with him, forever you are going to understand that fight is not always the answer. Once you’re in trouble, gladly he helped you with his hands. Once you forgot to say thank you, he would never mind as he never asked any return. Once he flown away, suddenly you will understand that you just have known an angel.

“Dear God, thank you for giving a chance to know an angel. Thank you for sending me him for a while so I can change. I would never ask WHY for that very little time you gave me, for that unspoken words, and for those dreams that are not coming true. I would just ask: if I could have another chance to do it all over again, I promise I would be so much better, and I would never pass any chance to show the love that I have.”

ARE WE MEANT TO BE?

How many times have you spent your time for dating somebody that finally leads you to an end? How many times have you done a perfect first date that leads you to a goodbye? How many times in your life, you try so hard to keep a relationship, but finally there’s nothing you can do but walk out? How many times have you tried, succeeded, and failed for a finding the ONE? I always believe that somebody must be meant to be with somebody. They must love each other, and take care one another. At least that’s what I learned from those Disney Princess’ movies (yea rite’). No, that’s what I learn from life, that we do need love as our way home, as a right place to rest your head, your heart, your soul. So every time I see somebody, my question will be: “Are we meant to be?” (with that look and two hands folded upon my chest). No, I never say it directly to the person, or even say it out loud. That question is only for me, myself, and my mind. That question now seems so tough for me, since I’ve asked it like for…thousand times. “Are we meant to be?” then finally he leaves without explanation. “Are we meant to be?” then I found him falling for another girl. “Are we meant to be?” but we didn’t get along so well. “Are we meant to be?” then after few tiring years we had to say goodbye. “Are we meant to be?” and directly he said we’re just friends. “Are we meant to be?” and his attitude drove me crazy. “Are we meant to be?” then he had to go abroad for the study. “Are we meant to be?” then his dog bites my shoes. “Are we meant to be?” then I found him interesting to another man. (Man!) “Are we meant to be?” and right away I turned off by his laugh. “Are we meant to be?” then we realized we spoke different language, eat different meal, and come from totally DIFFERENT world. “Are we meant to be?” then suddenly I wasn’t the one he’s been looking for. “Are we meant to be?” and so on and so on and so on…. Are we meant to be? Or are we not? That’s the only thing that I wanna know when I start my relationship with somebody. That’s the only thing I’d like to know when I start to get to know an interesting person, because somehow I’m tired of trying and failing. I’m tired of those spectacular dates, and finally find that he’s not the one. I’m tired with all the effort I’ve made, for only ended up being his best friend. And in this desperate times, I go to bed with a new question in my head: “Am I meant to be with somebody( somewhere, in this world)? Or Am I not?” and thinking about those wasted times with the unright one. Then I came to a conclusion: “I’ve been searching for the right one everywhere, I’m exhausted. Where is he?” (Is he somewhere back in the past? Is he somewhere a long my way to the office? Is he right beside me now? Or is he somebody that hasn’t come yet?) *any idea where is he? Have you ever thought about this too? Or it’s just me, myself, and my silly question?