How many times have you spent your time for dating somebody that finally leads you to an end? How many times have you done a perfect first date that leads you to a goodbye? How many times in your life, you try so hard to keep a relationship, but finally there’s nothing you can do but walk out? How many times have you tried, succeeded, and failed for a finding the ONE? I always believe that somebody must be meant to be with somebody. They must love each other, and take care one another. At least that’s what I learned from those Disney Princess’ movies (yea rite’). No, that’s what I learn from life, that we do need love as our way home, as a right place to rest your head, your heart, your soul. So every time I see somebody, my question will be: “Are we meant to be?” (with that look and two hands folded upon my chest). No, I never say it directly to the person, or even say it out loud. That question is only for me, myself, and my mind. That question now seems so tough for me, since I’ve asked it like for…thousand times. “Are we meant to be?” then finally he leaves without explanation. “Are we meant to be?” then I found him falling for another girl. “Are we meant to be?” but we didn’t get along so well. “Are we meant to be?” then after few tiring years we had to say goodbye. “Are we meant to be?” and directly he said we’re just friends. “Are we meant to be?” and his attitude drove me crazy. “Are we meant to be?” then he had to go abroad for the study. “Are we meant to be?” then his dog bites my shoes. “Are we meant to be?” then I found him interesting to another man. (Man!) “Are we meant to be?” and right away I turned off by his laugh. “Are we meant to be?” then we realized we spoke different language, eat different meal, and come from totally DIFFERENT world. “Are we meant to be?” then suddenly I wasn’t the one he’s been looking for. “Are we meant to be?” and so on and so on and so on…. Are we meant to be? Or are we not? That’s the only thing that I wanna know when I start my relationship with somebody. That’s the only thing I’d like to know when I start to get to know an interesting person, because somehow I’m tired of trying and failing. I’m tired of those spectacular dates, and finally find that he’s not the one. I’m tired with all the effort I’ve made, for only ended up being his best friend. And in this desperate times, I go to bed with a new question in my head: “Am I meant to be with somebody( somewhere, in this world)? Or Am I not?” and thinking about those wasted times with the unright one. Then I came to a conclusion: “I’ve been searching for the right one everywhere, I’m exhausted. Where is he?” (Is he somewhere back in the past? Is he somewhere a long my way to the office? Is he right beside me now? Or is he somebody that hasn’t come yet?) *any idea where is he? Have you ever thought about this too? Or it’s just me, myself, and my silly question? |
